Thursday, April 15, 2010

Self Love

Yesterday I saw a video that disturbed me in the oddest of ways. It was a clip from the Wendy Williams Show from her interview with Stacy Dash. Now Stacy Dash is obviously a very beautiful woman, so we would naturally think that she'd have no real issues with her self worth and all. But when she started talking about how she'd never been single since the age of 17 and that she needed a man to define her and to tell her that she was beautiful so that she'd believe it, it shocked the hell out of me. And it got me to thinking. Now she's in her 40's and she's finally starting to love herself and see the light. How long will it take women younger than that to come to that same epiphany?
       Lately I've been hearing the same thing over and over. "You need a man." or "You need to get you some", blah blah blah. And time and again I simply shake my head. No, you shouldn't need anything or anyone on that level. You should want it. Never confuse wants and needs, especially where people are concerned. The only human being that you should absolutely want and need, without question, is yourself. Loving and appreciating yourself, taking time to discover and enjoy you, and knowing your self worth are the first steps to having and enjoying healthy relationships with others. It's perfectly okay to be by yourself every once in a while to work on you. When you know your self worth you'll see where you stand with others in your life.
        Now if you sit down and do a self evaluation, and notice that your significant other does not hold you in high esteem as you hold yourself or them, then you should address the issue immediately. Tell them that you want to be treated better, that your position should be much higher than what it currently is in their considerations. After all, do you not do the same thing for them all day every day without fail? If they choose to work on that part of the relationship then you should stick it out with them. If they refuse to do so, then they're showing you exactly what time it is. It's perfectly okay to let go if they don't have your best interest in heart. Show others how to love you better by loving yourself better.You will only be given as much love as you give yourself. And if that means that you have to break away from them in order to work on loving you, then so be it. By practicing self love we reclaim ourselves. So many women choose to wrap ourselves and our lives around others. So much so to the point where they lose their sense of self over time. They feel like they simply cannot exist without the other. They feel like they simply will not be whole without the other. But I believe that when you walked into the relationship, you were whole. And when you leave it, you should still be whole. So if you have to take a break to rebuild yourself, to make yourself "whole", then that's fine. In time you'll learn to love that whole that is you.
       You are you, and you should love every piece of you. How do you expect others to do so if you don't do it yourself?

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